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Typical Harley-Davidson customer

The demographics for Harley-Davidson are just as grim as their sales figures: the average Harley customer is over 50, and the average age of a registered Harley motorcycle is about 10 years.

Conservative old men who haven’t seen a movie since Dennis Hopper stopped being a leading Hollywood draw.

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So what do you do if your existing customer base of geezers and sycophants hates the idea of you selling to a new demographic? If you’re Harley, you keep selling to the old demographic and hope for a miracle.

But Harley is trapped. They’re a lifestyle brand, not a motorcycle company. When you look at them as a lifestyle brand rather than a motorcycle company, a lot of things start to make sense.

Big noisy eyewateringly expensive machines that make senior citizens feel like it’s still 1962.

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Harley geezers love spreading contempt for smaller, lighter Japanese “rice burners,” after they’ve taken their Geritol and used their walkers to hobble to the front porch for another rousing afternoon of “hey you kids get off my lawn.”

They’re terrified to abandon these guys because they know these guys buy their bikes, at least until they go broke buying Trump shoes and NFTs. Millennials think Harley Davidson is a joke, mainly because Harley Davidson is a joke. Gen Z is like “Harley who? You mean the Joker’s girlfriend? Margot Robbie? Yeah, she’s hot.”

What happens if they build new bikes?

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What is their product?

If Toyota were facing demographics that grim, they’d, you know, change their lineup and try to appeal to new customers.

They need new customers or they’re done. Their existing customer base is aging out and, well, dying. Millennials don’t like their motorcycles, but Harley has long been a company that flat-out refuses to change their products to match what people want; they’ve long believed they should make whatever they want to make and people should just buy that.

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They sell obnoxiously, stupendously overpriced bikes to old white men who wear Donald Trump jackets.

The Geezer Brigade starts flinging their walkers about and posting angry diatribes on AOL.

What is their lifestyle?

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Next year, things will turn around. Next year for sure. We just have to hang on until then. Next year.

This…is not a healthy company with a bright future ahead.

All their existing customers shake their canes and whine about them “selling out.”

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Whenever they try to get new customers, they risk pissing off the dudes who were born to ride Donald Trump, or at least fellate him.

What happens if they try to attract new customers?

Harley-Davidson is facing some rather unfortunate demographic realities. If you look at their sales since the 1990s, they’re looking pretty grim:

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